New Comics Every Weekday - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip
XKCD is not looking for guest strips.
But Guilded Age is!
Oh man, that sounds delicious.
What a grave joke!
If E-Merl isn’t careful, a dust-up may ensue.
Another good action sequence would be gravy right about now.
I’m sure Gravy can dish up enough violence to satisy.
A feast for the eyes it will be, and I’m sure Mr. Waltrip will be a wonderful cook.
And now we know who New Bard is based on!! Commenters! Maybe even Locke!
Because, yanno, my undoubtedly senile brain says Locke coined that nickname.
i hate to axe, but is what byron did to bandit the reason he looks so agashed? considering what he put her through, she doesnt look very wounded.
You’re a bad man/woman.
Well there’s no need to get off in arms about it. I’m sure Bandit’s charm and Byron’s levelheadedness will disarm any problems.
Also, what he put through her.
“Hi Byron, sorry I had to split like that and leave the party. Oh, wait, that was your fault.”
“Yeah well you kind of got cut off from the rest of us.”
Oh it’s you, it’s been a long time, you know, since you MURDERED ME. /GlaDOS
Syr’nj also cut him down in front of the group; he’s probably maulling over his own team edge. His presence in the strip hasn’t been choppy thusfar, so we’re sure to see him sharpen his skills in a different way.
I dunno man, you never know who might get axed. If he doesn’t hack it he might not get another stab at this. He needs to really kick it up a notch if he wants to cleave to main casthood. With all the new characters coming in it might be a close shave.
Bandit simply wishes to negotiate Byron’s disarmament to ensure bodily unity for all.
Cuting to the chase eh? Well I don’t think Byron wants to make this situation any dicier. He might cut and run if she gets snippy though.
Yeah he’s in real danger of getting axed from the team, on the other hand losing such a vital part could ruin the team dynamic, so hopefully they’ll learn to bury the hatchet.
You never know, they might (understandably) be still cut up about the whole thing. After all, dicing someone’s life away really isn’t a good look.
I think Byron’s worried he won’t hack it in this conversation. After all, the way Bandit has approached him was disarming. I suppose if he’s still uncomfortable he’ll axe to speak to her later.
Let’s not split hairs here. If Bandit was still angry I don’t think she’d be willing to slash this out. I think she’ll stab straight to the heart of the matter and get Byron to stop hacking around the bush. Here’s to hoping they slaughter their issues to avoid mangled feelings.
I love you all.
I think it’s because he knew she was behind him only a moment ago.
sorry i meant to put
If talking to Byron doesn’t work, Bandit could turn to Syr’nj, who could use SCIENCE! to patch up their friendship, and call it the “Human-Gnome Project.”
That one physically hurt. Well done.
The only physical pain from that was the headslap I had to give myself, but it did stop me from breathing for a second. Still a good job.
why are my wrists bleeding?
Because you touch yourself at night.
AND YOU’RE MADE OF SWORDS! OH GOD.
Let’s be honest.
If you were made of swords.
You would only bleed MORE SWORDS.
Not a sharper man you’ll meet.
That comment certainly got to the point.
On the cutting edge as it were.
‘Twas highly incisive.
OH GOD GUYS THERE ARE SWORDS EVERYWHERE HELP AHHH
Keep your wits sharp in situations like these. Don’t want you coming to pieces at a time like this.
o twas but a slice of pie.
I’m sure Syr’Ng will be able to synthesize a solution here. Just a matter of sequence.
She’d better move fast, or it could spiral out of control.
All she has to do is replicate her previous performances. Shouldn’t be too hard to bring a compromise to genesis.
I dunno, compromises don’t just come together like Adenine and Thymine, or Guanine and Cytosine.
I’m believe their bonds are stronger than you think. They have some chemistry or else the authors wouldn’t have put them on the same team. Of course if they don’t get over they’re problems they might compound at the worst possible time.
I like how E-merladjusted for Gravedust’s height for the high-five and I think Bandit is going to make Byron feel useful.
“I hope the past doesn’t rend our friendship asunder.”
“Well you seemed pretty angry when you cut off contact with me.”
“Can’t you forgive me? I was in a hurry and I needed to split.”
“Well if you hadn’t been so angry we could have trimmed our conversation down to a third of the time. But it felt like you really carved into me, and I’m not sure if I can take my feelings getting ripped apart like that again.”
She knows it’s important to cut to the heart of the matter before anyone comes apart at the seams.
I’m sure she’ll be able to steal his attention away from his moping. Start a conversation so they can slash out their problems.
Given his desperation to get back to fighting, Byron should be keen to take swing at anything that might allow him to cut the Gordian Knot, as it were.
Good to see Bandit cutting out the middle man by not just waiting for Syr’Nj to make him “safe.” The waters might be choppy but I’m sure they won’t slice they’re shot at friendship.
It’s always important to remove the middle-man if you wish to avoid gouging.
If they get through this now they’ll amputate a bunch of time that would’ve left us bored over their shared angst. They’re really cutting down on some parts so the more striking aspects can be made clear cut.
Frigg has tired of being fangirled rather quickly. If she did mace to the face, would Sister Clingy just thank her for the instruction?
My reaction was that Frigg was not only irritated at being fawned upon but by the comparison that she was learning from Scipio. She does have a fair amount of appreciation of her own worth.
I think it’s a mix of that, and having gotten completely fed up of the continuous fangirling.
But she was learning from Scipio. Look at her imitating him on the previous page. She doesn’t want to have her face rubbed into that, though. And the fangirling, too.
thank you for the instruction mistress frigg, may I have another?
She’s fast for a girl with such short legs.
We’ve seen Frigg do the “YEAH” from Neverending Story. I’m waiting for Bandit to “Meemeep.”
Personally I think this is just more evidence she’s run by the outsiders, though. They just put her elsewhere, same as they just put her back in the game after she died last time.
I agree that they put her back in the game, but she can run really fast. She was kicking up a dust trail on the previous page. And she’s good at moving without being seen. It’s kinda handy when you’re a bandit.
The dust trail is exactly what made me think of roadrunner. That and her running posture.
…and lived, you didn’t let me finish, no one has called me Gravy and lived, consider it an honor.
Stop crying elf, it’s only a flesh wound.
My arm’s cut off!
You can gum them to death!
I’m not sure I care for your biting tone.
Keep complaining and I’ll bite your legs off!
What’s eating you? I’m sure we could settle our differences over a nibble as long as we don’t encrunch on each others business.
If you want a piece of me, I can eat you for breakfast!
Incidentally, did no-one else see the implicit Monty Python joke it Timelost’s comment?
Well, I did, I was aware someone would likely reply with a Black Knight reference when I chose the phrasing.
Even though that wasn’t the intent I pressed Post with both eyes open.
Nah man, I wouldn’t want one of us to bite the dust over something like this. We really shouldn’t let our anger consume us or it’ll turn into a dog eat dog world around here.
This only fuels my crack pairing..muwahaha~sleeps~Woke up too early to read this hah
Jeez Bandit, when you’re around, Byron can’t even steal a moment for himself.
(because you steal it from him)
((because you are Bandit))
((((That’s the joke))))
(((((I’m not good at this)))))
Somewhere in the guild is a gnome artificer screaming “But I just finished those robots” in a German accent.
“Spy’s sappin’ mah SENTRY!”
Please, don’t ever let the new characters die (or be secretly evil and die, or somethingsuchlike that). I love them already. They’re part of the group forever.
(Wow, somehow I put link tags instead of the italic ones. What were I thinking.)
You were just crazed from your complete denial of Evil Byron. I know, it’s hard to accept, but that’s totally the next new twist. :P
“XKCD is not looking for guest strips.”
Is that a dig at the quality of submissions so far? :P
By no means! It was just the first one I thought of.
You mean it’s ok if we just draw stick figures? cause i think i could almost do that.
If that’s your bag, man.
Look at that punk Byron wearing “shoulder axes” as if to mock her. Has he not shame? :[
FFS? What is this FFS of which you speak?
“Fairly flatulent sasquatch” obviously.
i thought you mean futuristic furry satin
The real question, of course, is where are my Rachel pin-ups?
For God’s sake, man.
This is a family webcomic.
And he wants to make a family. Where’s the problem?
Sign me up dwarf-man.
just realized their fire arrow trick could cause trouble when Gravy is channeling spirits through them. those spirits may not like being on fire.
Man, I just realized the “wings” on Rachel’s heart are actually hands.
I suppose they are open hands to match “The Sisters of the Unyielding Open Heart.” An actual open heart would be kinda gross.
Maybe to you, buddy, but to practitioners of the Aztec faith like myself, it’s delicious. :P
Now I understand the foreground of panel 1 in the previous strip. Sister Rachel was watching Frig learn and Frig was looking at Scipio. They all are mimicking the person they are looking at. It looked like Frig was looking behind Scipio.
I still think Frigg saw E-merl and Gravedust working together and she’s jealous. That’s HER dwarf! ;)
So, does bandit have an axe to grind or not…
Admittedly her tone is a bit sharp, but I think she’s being quite disarming. All she’s done is cut in on his moping so far.
Just as long as the moping is cut short, I don’t think anyone will have cause to complain.
Agreed, his moping is really undercutting his status as a reader favorite.
It’s ok. When the battle is over Byron can step in and mope up any survivors.
I’m not so sure. We wouldn’t want him to go into a brood frenzy. He still might go off like the incredible sulk. He might be think he’s ready to grumble, but I don’t think so. Hopefully he would only grieve through his enemies like days of yore, but if he goes off then we weep what we sow.
Speedy Bandit: Only slightly less politically incorrect than Speedy Gonzalez.
It’s a good thing Phil insists this is a family webcomic. Then we can move past the horrible possible storyline of Bandit taking her shirt off to show off her scars, or lack of them, and everyone assuming Byron is some kind of pervy hobbitgnome-lover.
The worst bit is, the best person to walk in on that? Commander Pornstache.
Followed with some funk and the line, “I’ve got a special mission for you two… *real* special.”
“Recover the Chalice of Cialis from Harki’s Bachelor Pad of Doom.”…?
Dusty > Gravy.
“Hurts to be cut from the team, don’t it? I know what it’s like to get the Ax.”
Oh what tangled webs we weave
When first we practise to de-sleeve.
“Well I don’t want to mince words, but I felt like the score was misrepresented. I didn’t even get a decent severance package.”
I simply don’t like this idea of the berserker being sorry for berserking, or rather for being what he is. Sorry, but it makes no sense at all.
He kind of murdered the party. I don’t think it’s the berserking he’s sorry for, so much as the collateral damage that he forgot to mention to anyone else.
…yes. Because people always love everything about themselves, and nobody looks at things they do or are as massive, regrettable flaws that they want to change. Right.
Well, he was cool with it up until he berzerkered the shit out of his team and did a total party kill.
…It weirds me out how my desktop has the hulking troll avatar and my laptop has the gnome.
I love top hat guy =) Please don’t kill him off.
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