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New Comics Every M/W/F - Written by T Campbell & Phil Kahn - Illustrated by John & Jason Waltrip

Sorry, JJ. I guess that's *our* fault.

Chapter 34 – Page 9

on September 19, 2014
Chapter: Chapter 34
└ Tags: JJ Berten, Shanna, Xan
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Discussion (97) ¬

  1. Bardsdoitbetter
    Bardsdoitbetter
    September 19, 2014, 12:03 am | # | Reply

    He mustache himself some deep questions, that JJ Berten.

    • SomeSortOfIdiot
      SomeSortOfIdiot
      September 19, 2014, 12:26 am | # | Reply

      It was a close shave, that escape.

    • Pink Freud
      Pink Freud
      September 19, 2014, 12:37 am | # | Reply

      I guess he better find something with a handlebar to chase after them with.

    • Paddy
      Paddy
      September 19, 2014, 1:39 am | # | Reply

      Hope he wasn’t to a’tached to that car of his.

      • zero
        zero
        September 19, 2014, 7:46 pm | # | Reply

        I wonder if he’s stached another vehicle nearby.

        • Dean
          Dean
          September 22, 2014, 12:33 am | # | Reply

          Mo’stache, mo’problems.

        • Speedy
          Speedy
          December 31, 2018, 8:15 pm | # | Reply

          It’s probably a Lamborghini Coun’tach.

  2. Ishmael
    Ishmael
    September 19, 2014, 12:03 am | # | Reply

    Well, you’re the genius who keeps his stabbing knife on a keychain. You were kind of asking for it.

    • Pumpkin Cake
      Pumpkin Cake
      September 19, 2014, 7:34 am | # | Reply

      And then he proceeded to leave his stabbing knife and keys in the hands of a person he’s trying to destroy.

      • Miss Riss
        Miss Riss
        September 20, 2014, 11:02 am | # | Reply

        “…in the hands…” I see what you did there.

  3. Fiaryn
    Fiaryn
    September 19, 2014, 12:09 am | # | Reply

    I think this is the first time I’ve felt the plot has become legitimately contrived or “railroad-y”. If he was disabled enough for her AND Xan to get out, would he not have been disabled enough to be shot?

    Struggling to do the deed is understandable up to a point but this is getting a little implausible.

    • Andrew
      Andrew
      September 19, 2014, 12:15 am | # | Reply

      Sandra didn’t have the guts to shoot him, as shown previously.

      What I’m curious about is, if Xan doesn’t have a license, who’s the car registered to?

      • Ishmael
        Ishmael
        September 19, 2014, 12:16 am | # | Reply

        The car likely belongs to JJ Berten, since he’s been seen driving it in a few strips.

        • Andrew
          Andrew
          September 19, 2014, 12:19 am | # | Reply

          Oh right, that’s the BAD GUY’s car keys, attached to the pocket knife which he drove through Xan’s palm. Duh.

          • Tsapki
            Tsapki
            September 19, 2014, 1:47 am | # | Reply

            -shudders- Bescpierl still gives me the creeps.

      • Fettuccini
        Fettuccini
        September 19, 2014, 7:25 am | # | Reply

        Who is Sandra?

        • Mark
          Mark
          September 19, 2014, 10:30 am | # | Reply

          Shanna

    • Jean-Luc
      Jean-Luc
      September 19, 2014, 12:19 am | # | Reply

      Well, as discussed before killing doesn’t come easily to most people.

      • Halvhir
        Halvhir
        September 19, 2014, 12:46 am | # | Reply

        Indeed. I was pleasantly surprised that she was able to get the one shot to his leg off, honestly. If she couldn’t follow up when he was grabbing at her gun, killing just isn’t an option running through her brain, for better or for worse.

        • nemui
          nemui
          September 19, 2014, 6:51 am | # | Reply

          And as also discussed before, self-preservation instincts tend to take over in most (if not all) people. When a huge mustachioed man is stabbing someone and then shambling towards you menacingly, you generally don’t take the time to ponder the abstract value of a man’s life.

          Or you do until you get that first shot off. How or why you’d stop yourself after that is beyond me. So… Fiaryn is right. This outcome seems implausible.

          • Irena Daerk
            Irena Daerk
            September 19, 2014, 8:35 am | # | Reply

            I feel that Sandra is far too scared to kill him, not because of some moral debate but because shooting someone with a gun is just a bit nerve wracking. I think she did try to kill him though, and missed, hitting him in the leg. For me the indication of the fact that this is nerves and not some philosophy is earlier when she keeps telling herself to shoot him, but can’t because she is paralyzed with fear. Because of that, I think her reaction is entirely plausible, and something akin to what I’d end up doing in the same situation, except I’d probably manage to shoot *myself* in the leg.

            • TBeckett
              TBeckett
              September 19, 2014, 11:47 am | # | Reply

              Good analysis. I think her freezing up is entirely plausible

            • nemui
              nemui
              September 19, 2014, 1:57 pm | # | Reply

              Again, she froze up when she walked in on him and Xan, and somehow managed to shoot (to kill, no less). As countless news stories about homeowners shooting burglars half a dozen times have shown, after that first shot the dam usually breaks and you’re squeezing again and again as if in a frenzy. I’d never heard of paralysis being broken for a moment, and then setting back in even stronger. I don’t think our brains are capable of functioning that way.

              • Fettuccini
                Fettuccini
                September 19, 2014, 3:40 pm | # | Reply

                Most of those news stories turn out to be involving people who are anything but paralyzed with fear, but instead very often people who spend their lives looking for an excuse to shoot someone legally.

                • Taxil Necrobane
                  Taxil Necrobane
                  September 19, 2014, 10:35 pm | # | Reply

                  I don’t think people are looking forward toward shooting home invaders.

                  • Matthew Davis
                    Matthew Davis
                    September 22, 2014, 1:11 am | # | Reply

                    I dunno, man. There are all kinds out there:

                    http://www.cbsnews.com/news/prosecutor-minn-homeowner-lay-in-wait-for-teen-burglars/

              • Fiaryn
                Fiaryn
                September 19, 2014, 6:20 pm | # | Reply

                What’s more, even disregarding the matter of her not shooting him, this entire transition doesn’t make any sense. Hitting him in the wound on his leg disabled him enough that she could get Xan up off the ground, then take the time for him to get a duffle bag (apparently), and flee? But not shoot him? Given how he shook off a gun shot, I’m having a hard time imagining him doing whatever it is that would enable this transition to be possible.

                • Borg
                  Borg
                  April 27, 2017, 9:18 pm | # | Reply

                  Xan is paranoid, remember? He must have a duffel bag packed and convenient to grab as he runs out the door. He could hardly claim to be prepared otherwise.

      • Tsapki
        Tsapki
        September 19, 2014, 1:37 am | # | Reply

        Further more, if the landlady comes by tomorrow and finds a corpse in Xan’s room…

        THE POLICE WILL GET DEEPLY INVOLVED.

        What as meant to be a quiet snoop becomes a manhunt as cops everywhere are looking for the missing persons to find out what is going on.

        Oh, and more than likely Carol gets the news that JJ is dead and gets to send an actual assassin after Shanna now that she’s shown she has the stones to kill someone sent after her.

        • Thom
          Thom
          September 19, 2014, 9:27 am | # | Reply

          I think someone will be by a lot sooner than that. Gunshot in an appartment building should get at least a few 911 calls. And there will be two people’s blood around. JJ won’t have *much* time to clean up, either, even if he decides to let them go for the moment.

    • FoolishOwl
      FoolishOwl
      September 19, 2014, 2:35 pm | # | Reply

      Here’s a thought: maybe it’s morally wrong to kill a human being unless it’s absolutely necessary, and it wasn’t absolutely necessary.

    • Commiekeebler
      Commiekeebler
      September 19, 2014, 3:59 pm | # | Reply

      Having been in a similar situation, at some point there is so much adrenaline pumping in your system that you switch to binary: fight or flight. You’re not acting rationally. You’re not in control. You’re doing SOMETHING and it may not be the best course of action, but at least you’re acting. In some cases it’s better than not acting at all.

      Shanna switched to flight, which is working out better for her than what she tried before.

    • Sumgai
      Sumgai
      September 19, 2014, 10:43 pm | # | Reply

      She seems to have been expecting to only have to fire the gun once for some reason, and acts as though doing it again is just more than she could bear.

      I’m kind of wondering if maybe she’s got a few mental walls built from some past incident or experience, against either killing or firing.

  4. Mordecai
    Mordecai
    September 19, 2014, 12:14 am | # | Reply

    When did his Charger suddenly become a convertible?

    • Ishmael
      Ishmael
      September 19, 2014, 12:16 am | # | Reply

      His car’s always been shown as a convertible.

    • Random Whatever
      Random Whatever
      September 19, 2014, 2:54 am | # | Reply

      Camaro

      • Freakshow
        Freakshow
        September 19, 2014, 6:10 am | # | Reply

        Maybe it’s a hardtop convertible Chamero

        • Chris
          Chris
          September 19, 2014, 9:16 am | # | Reply

          Its a new X-type chamertable.

          • Zoot Sutra
            Zoot Sutra
            September 19, 2014, 9:24 am | # | Reply

            ^^^I wish I could upvote you with my BRAIN.

      • Mordecai
        Mordecai
        September 19, 2014, 5:54 pm | # | Reply

        Ahhh, yes, I forgot that the Camaro has a similar looking front…

        • Benedikt
          Benedikt
          September 19, 2014, 6:45 pm | # | Reply

          Speaking of similar fronts: Do you have a special email-adress, with which you get this “Oops, my mistake, sorry”-Gravatar?

  5. Chaltab
    Chaltab
    September 19, 2014, 12:34 am | # | Reply

    Shanna, no, no, no. If you’re going to steal an assassin’s car then don’t leave the assassin alive. Basic adventuring. You’d know this if you were a gamer.

    • Wylf
      Wylf
      September 19, 2014, 12:48 am | # | Reply

      Exactly. Plus killing him gives extra XP :/

    • Tsapki
      Tsapki
      September 19, 2014, 1:38 am | # | Reply

      Killing someone then stealing their car.

      That isn’t going to attract any suspicion or get you locked away at all.

      • nemui
        nemui
        September 19, 2014, 6:54 am | # | Reply

        Killing that particular someone would negate te need to steal their car. Or bring Xan along, for that matter. He could have stayed home, dialed 911, explained how JJ broke in and tortured him for some info he didn’t have, then he wrestled the gun away from him somehow and shot him in self-defense, case closed.

    • Hatman
      Hatman
      September 19, 2014, 3:05 am | # | Reply

      No, that’s great from a gaming viewpoint! Look who just netted a rival instead of just a boss fight.

    • Da Amron
      Da Amron
      September 19, 2014, 4:51 am | # | Reply

      oh…look. the quest guy dropped a dagger and a mount! (and its a 310% speed one to boot)
      wait…Shanna basically got Rivendare’s deathcharger on her first run….:grumble grumble grumble:

      Official Phil Kahn Gold Star

      • Taxil Necrobane
        Taxil Necrobane
        September 19, 2014, 10:34 am | # | Reply

        (golf clap) Well done Da Amron

        • Taxil Necrobane
          Taxil Necrobane
          September 19, 2014, 10:35 am | # | Reply

          Also, you have no idea how much farming I did to try to get one of those mounts.

  6. Dave
    Dave
    September 19, 2014, 1:08 am | # | Reply

    Oh noooo, how dare they not want to work with the person who stabbed a guy just because he was being inconvenient.

  7. Samuel
    Samuel
    September 19, 2014, 1:16 am | # | Reply

    And next JJ calls AAA and activates the LoJack.

    • Mujaki
      Mujaki
      September 19, 2014, 3:52 am | # | Reply

      Unless he accidentally left his cell phone in the car.
      We’ve all done it at some point!

      • Runic
        Runic
        September 20, 2014, 9:00 pm | # | Reply

        Would not be surprised if his cell phone also has a knife on the keychain as well.

    • Stone Rhino
      Stone Rhino
      September 19, 2014, 8:27 am | # | Reply

      It’s a chevy, so it has On-Star. All he has to do is call them and the ignition is dead in 20 minutes.

    • biggmac
      biggmac
      September 19, 2014, 8:35 am | # | Reply

      Yes, hello, Ohnstarr? My car was just stolen. Can you track it? Wait – no, don’t send the law, just tell me where – ah, ma’am, NO police – ahem. You know what? Just forget it. YES. FORGET IT. Thank you. … **SHEESH!**

    • Observer
      Observer
      March 16, 2015, 4:12 pm | # | Reply

      Well his pocket are jammed full of stuff I guess something had to give.

  8. Gentleman Breakfast
    Gentleman Breakfast
    September 19, 2014, 1:19 am | # | Reply

    Oh JJ, I hope you have a contingency plan for this, much like any self-respecting assassin would. I know you can stop the menace bent on destroying the game-space!

    • Avris
      Avris
      September 19, 2014, 5:34 am | # | Reply

      Looks like he managed to write down some of the contact info, a few pages back. He’s still got leads, even if he lost his edge.

  9. Smallfoot
    Smallfoot
    September 19, 2014, 1:22 am | # | Reply

    Stupid people with their stupid sense of self-preservation. Why do they always want to do it the hard way?

    • Schneidend
      Schneidend
      September 19, 2014, 3:16 am | # | Reply

      To be fair, JJ does always vehemently offers the peaceful way out first.

      • CoridimusPrime
        CoridimusPrime
        September 19, 2014, 6:38 am | # | Reply

        A Rachel multiple-personality moment like this is exactly what I needed.

    • Speedy
      Speedy
      December 31, 2018, 9:10 pm | # | Reply

      Yosemite Sam JJ Berten: “Oooooooooo… I hate that rabbit!”

  10. Lexible
    Lexible
    September 19, 2014, 1:47 am | # | Reply

    I just have to say that (A) frame one, Shanna’s gun pointed right at the viewer (!), and that (B) JJ is drawn really beautifully in that last frame, drama aside. Kudos.

    • Carl-E
      Carl-E
      September 19, 2014, 1:16 pm | # | Reply

      As a person who still wore a ponytail as his hair was thinning on top, I have to say that’s a wonderfully done detail!

  11. Widdy
    Widdy
    September 19, 2014, 2:20 am | # | Reply

    No-one’s mentioned that one of the two had to pull out the knife. Trying to get the key off the knife seems like it would simply take way too long when you’re trying to haul out of there. If it was me, I’d want to pull the knife out myself… but I’d probably pass out no matter who took a knife out of my hand.

  12. Hatman
    Hatman
    September 19, 2014, 3:07 am | # | Reply

    Aww…goodbye, Shanna’s hat. We’ll miss you.

  13. Locke
    Locke
    September 19, 2014, 3:18 am | # | Reply

    So did she yank the knife out to start it, or do they just have his hand over by the ignition all awkwardly because they’re too afraid to pull it and deal with the bleeding?

    • Just_IDD
      Just_IDD
      September 19, 2014, 5:14 am | # | Reply

      Probably took them off the keyring.

      • Acrox
        Acrox
        September 19, 2014, 6:21 am | # | Reply

        That’s the problem for me, here.

        Ever tried taking a key off a keyring under pressure? At some point at work I had to remove a key off a keyring so I could squeeze it under a comically multilocked door so whoever was outside could use it to deal with an emergency ASAP.

        Well, doing it didn’t saved much time (nail chipped to the flesh, complete with the ring edge ripping it further), and I wasn’t exactly running away from The Big Show with a knife wedged on my hand/gun in hand and trying to pick a key from knifehand guy.

        • Thom
          Thom
          September 19, 2014, 9:23 am | # | Reply

          Yes! This! I was trying to decide if I would spare my compatriot and try the harrowing key-ring maneuver while JJ was stomping down on us or if I would yank the knife out (against all my first aid training) and gogogogogo.

        • Thom
          Thom
          September 19, 2014, 9:25 am | # | Reply

          Option 3: Do the awkward hand-knife-key in ignition for a few miles, then stop and get the key off the keyring and keep going.

  14. Cek
    Cek
    September 19, 2014, 3:23 am | # | Reply

    Always keep your car keys on hand.

    Check out how mildy annoyed JJ here is.

  15. Minando
    Minando
    September 19, 2014, 5:52 am | # | Reply

    “Why do people have to be this way” ?
    Is he really complaining that she did not kill him ?
    Muscle for brain, that one.

    • herpderp
      herpderp
      September 19, 2014, 10:01 am | # | Reply

      No, she’s complaining that she didn’t just roll over and give up, or let him kill her.

      • herpderp
        herpderp
        September 19, 2014, 4:27 pm | # | Reply

        And by she I meant he..
        And by he I mean we,
        and by we I meant me,
        and by sweet I meant dirty.

        • Craddok
          Craddok
          September 19, 2014, 6:41 pm | # | Reply

          For by the sword I mean the sensible.
          For by the word I mean the dead.
          For by the sword I mean preceded by a sigh.
          For by the word I mean preceded by a wolf.

          …Is that not what we’re doing?

  16. flevine
    flevine
    September 19, 2014, 6:59 am | # | Reply

    Yup, like I said…handy.

  17. Bounces
    Bounces
    September 19, 2014, 7:37 am | # | Reply

    So…in panel 2 the knife is still wedged in Xan’s hand.

    When they get out to the car did they just wank it out? If so I think JJ should try picking up the trail at the nearest hospital.

    • Chris
      Chris
      September 19, 2014, 9:17 am | # | Reply

      They could have also just taken the key off the keyring…

    • Rules Lawyer
      Rules Lawyer
      September 19, 2014, 6:26 pm | # | Reply

      Well, it’s not canon, but yes.

      The worst part was trying to steer.

      • Sumgai
        Sumgai
        September 19, 2014, 10:38 pm | # | Reply

        *slow clap escalating to thunderous applause*

    • Speedy
      Speedy
      December 31, 2018, 8:59 pm | # | Reply

      I really, really hope that Xan didn’t wank the knife out. Yanking it out would be bad enough. Wanking it out would likely require him to switch to the Eunuchs operating system. That’d defeat the purpose that Phil suggested for the hole in Xan’s hand, about couple of pages back.

  18. Jim
    Jim
    September 19, 2014, 7:38 am | # | Reply

    Dude got his ass beat, and all he is is mildly annoyed. I love it.

  19. herpderp
    herpderp
    September 19, 2014, 9:40 am | # | Reply

    This comic is like Mcdonalds lately..
    I’m lovin’ it.

  20. Far
    Far
    September 19, 2014, 10:05 am | # | Reply

    Who is that Marvel bounty-hunter character who is always repeating “don’t make this personal” when a “mark” gets away?
    Seem appropriate here.

    • Phil
      Flo
      September 19, 2014, 10:34 am | # | Reply

      I wanna say Death’s Head?

      • Taxil Necrobane
        Taxil Necrobane
        September 19, 2014, 10:41 pm | # | Reply

        I think you are thinking of Deathstroke, but he’s DC.

        • Ishmael
          Ishmael
          September 20, 2014, 11:52 pm | # | Reply

          Death’s Head is a bounty hunter in Marvel. Giant robot dude.

  21. Aaron Bourque
    Aaron Bourque
    September 19, 2014, 2:22 pm | # | Reply

    Yeah, why people gotta run in fear of their lives? What’s up with that?

  22. Psolo Ghoti
    Psolo Ghoti
    September 19, 2014, 3:50 pm | # | Reply

    He’s the kind of villain I can’t help liking.

    That’s not to say I’d like to meet him in a dark alley. Or in a brightly lit hall full of people.

  23. Random Idiot
    Random Idiot
    September 19, 2014, 5:47 pm | # | Reply

    Anyone else get a Goblaurence vibe off Xan? His know-it-all attitude would translate easily into Gob’s smart arse-ry quite easily as a gamer.

    • Avris
      Avris
      September 20, 2014, 3:04 am | # | Reply

      I’ve got him pegged as Rendar.

      • Avris
        Avris
        September 20, 2014, 3:10 am | # | Reply

        ..Or, you know, maybe both? With his set up, multiboxing would be pretty tempting.

  24. Connie
    Connie
    September 19, 2014, 6:13 pm | # | Reply

    My money is STILL on a grown up Gordito from Dr McNinja

  25. Maelax
    Maelax
    September 19, 2014, 7:41 pm | # | Reply

    Shanna is now Sandra, to confuse JJ’s inquiries.

  26. Observer
    Observer
    March 16, 2015, 4:24 pm | # | Reply

    Yeah, they did that thing I said last comic I couldn’t believe if it happened. He never let go of that gun for that light weight, poorly leveraged rounded object hit. Even if it did hurt that bad he would have pulled her down with him. Everything we’ve seen of him before demands this be true but… it wasn’t…

    Luckily I am old enough book reader/tv-movie-watcher/webcomic viewer to have seen all kinds of way crazier logic so I’ll sail past this and make something up in my head as to what ACTUALLY happened.

    I mean if I can take all the times the Japanese Anime industry has tried to pretend that space travelers can, even briefly, take the full vacuum of space sans suit and not only live but continue to kick ass both in space and immediately after getting back in the air lock (maybe after taking a few deep breaths to get their center… LOL TT ) then this is nothing. (I always thought some day science would seep into enough heads over there that this bizarre space version of skinny dipping would stop but as it turns out this crap is showing up on our side of the ocean now and then. :O WHY!?!! )

    NOTHING I SAY! (but please don’t do it again… pretty please? )

  27. Speedy
    Speedy
    December 31, 2018, 9:16 pm | # | Reply

    Panel 2 – Xan’s grin as he hits the button on JJ’s key fob, to locate JJ’s car – Priceless!

    I think he just made himself one of my favorite characters.

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Guilded Age is co-written by T Campbell & Flo Kahn, and illustrated by John Waltrip. Site design by Samantha Kyle. Fonts by Blambot.com.
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